Dear 9,
You are a magical person, and I love you. Making your birthday montage every year is always a treat. You are such a happy, happy kid, and I hope you never lose that inner font of giddy contentment. I love your smile and your laugh and the silly things you do without worrying about who's watching. You make my world a brighter place and I'm so grateful for that (and for you).
You're not a perfect child, by any means (who is, and what is perfect anyway?) but I am so proud of how hard you try to be a good person, and how ready you are to say "I'm sorry, I screwed up" when you make a mistake. It takes most people, even grown-ups, years to have the confidence and grace to say "I'm sorry" and mean it. This is another gift you've been given, and if you hang onto it I believe it will take you far.
This year, you changed so much. You became a listener and a questioner. You asked me hard questions and I did my best to give you honest answers. I have tried to walk the line between protecting you and giving you the truth you're obviously searching for. I just hope that I haven't given you too much information about our mixed up world and the startling acts of cruelty often perpetrated in it, but I would rather you be prepared than surprised/shocked/traumatized down the line. And I think if anyone deserves truth it is your generation. You will be the ones charged with turning the tide and protecting the future of our people and our world. It's a big responsibility, no doubt about it.
But if your hands were the only ones to consider, I'd feel confident the world was in good ones.
Thank you for your sweet heart and your silly smiles and love of adventure and easy-going, forgiving nature. Thank you for your trust and our talks and your very excellent hugs. And thank you for making me a mom 9 years ago.
Much love,
Your Mom
Monday, May 20, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Birthday Montage Postponed Until...
....Monday due to technical difficulties. (In that I'm technically too tired to upload or blog after all the birthday festivities.)
In its place I give you the following from 4:
"I'm really good at wiping my poop now, Mom! So good. I'm like a pro!"
You're welcome.
See you Monday,
Stacey
In its place I give you the following from 4:
"I'm really good at wiping my poop now, Mom! So good. I'm like a pro!"
You're welcome.
See you Monday,
Stacey
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Odds and Evens
The odds:
1. Weird Dreams had this week:
A. Waking up naked in a skate park covered in caramel corn and having to walk home barefoot in the rain. (Nightmare clincher: I have forgotten where I live.)
B. Living with a couple of women I don't care for and their children in a house where all the furniture blocks the doors and you have to crawl under things to get into the bathroom/bedroom/etc and struggling to keep my children from absorbing the atrocious habits of the other children (and mothers) and failing and watching them live in filth and enjoy eating sugary cereal with dog hair in it for breakfast. (Nightmare clincher: I'm forced to sleep in the laundry room and wake up every hour to shift the washer stuff to the drier, fold clothes, etc.)
C. I am a rear shooter on some kind of helicopter-ish thing in a post apocalyptic hell scape where the animals are all infected with an Ebola type virus that makes their eyes glow red. My comrades and I nearly escape but I keep swinging around to shoot things too quickly and throw the helicopter off balance and we crash and the Ebola critters swarm over our wrecked helicopter and begin to eat us alive. (Nightmare clincher: We are then resurrected so I can have different versions of this dream about three times. And one of the comrades becomes an ex-boyfriend who tries to convince everyone that I am untrustworthy because I was a bad girlfriend twenty years ago. No one else seems to see the flaw in his logic.)
D. I am twelve again. I am really completely twelve and realize I am going to have to go through my teens and early twenties again and I seriously consider jumping off a bridge to avoid it all because those years were so hard, especially parts of 20-26. (Nightmare bonus: Woke up with renewed compassion for the teenagers in my life and the teens I write for. These are hard times, ya'll. Hang in there, you can make it through and if you're brave, you will be better people at the end of it all. Suffering can make you kinder, funnier, and a generally more enjoyable individual. Or it can make you a whiny, self-indulgent, passive-aggressive asshole. The choice is yours.)
Other odds:
2. The garbage truck decided to change its route and now comes by our house at 4:45 and wakes up Leonard the Asshole bird, who cheeps from 4:45 until 8 or 9 in the morning. This makes me stabby.
3. No one is sending me the emails I would like to receive. Let's work on that world, shall we? I need some good emailz.
4. Some people are being not as nice as they should be. Let's be nice people. All too soon some of us will be dead and then we will all wish we'd been nicer. Or at least the alive people will, the rest of us will be dead and who knows what we'll be wishing. Probably that they had coffee in the afterlife.
The Evens:
1. OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI signing is ON!
I am definitely ON for a signing at Square Books Jr. in Oxford Mississippi on Thursday, June 20th at 5 p.m. I desperately need your help getting 5-10 people confirmed for this event (I sort of committed to rounding up people to attend, even though it is summer time and all the kids are hard to connect with that time of year). Know anyone in the area who likes to read YA or adult Urban Fantasy? Ask them if they'd like to come and I will be happy to send them a personal invitation.
I'm going to have my LAST Arc of OF BEAST AND BEAUTY to give away at this signing and some other very cool goodies, so hopefully it will be a fun event for all.
2. My Yelle Pandora station if freaking awesome like whoa and I love it.
3. I have written 7k in two days. Now I'm going to go make that 10k in three days because I'm taking no prisoners. NO prisoners.
4. No one is sending me emails I wouldn't like to receive. Good job, world. Bad emailz suck.
Have a Thursday, I'll be back Saturday with 9's birthday montage (he gave me permission to post it even though he is getting to be so very big and mature *sniff*).
Stacey
1. Weird Dreams had this week:
A. Waking up naked in a skate park covered in caramel corn and having to walk home barefoot in the rain. (Nightmare clincher: I have forgotten where I live.)
B. Living with a couple of women I don't care for and their children in a house where all the furniture blocks the doors and you have to crawl under things to get into the bathroom/bedroom/etc and struggling to keep my children from absorbing the atrocious habits of the other children (and mothers) and failing and watching them live in filth and enjoy eating sugary cereal with dog hair in it for breakfast. (Nightmare clincher: I'm forced to sleep in the laundry room and wake up every hour to shift the washer stuff to the drier, fold clothes, etc.)
C. I am a rear shooter on some kind of helicopter-ish thing in a post apocalyptic hell scape where the animals are all infected with an Ebola type virus that makes their eyes glow red. My comrades and I nearly escape but I keep swinging around to shoot things too quickly and throw the helicopter off balance and we crash and the Ebola critters swarm over our wrecked helicopter and begin to eat us alive. (Nightmare clincher: We are then resurrected so I can have different versions of this dream about three times. And one of the comrades becomes an ex-boyfriend who tries to convince everyone that I am untrustworthy because I was a bad girlfriend twenty years ago. No one else seems to see the flaw in his logic.)
D. I am twelve again. I am really completely twelve and realize I am going to have to go through my teens and early twenties again and I seriously consider jumping off a bridge to avoid it all because those years were so hard, especially parts of 20-26. (Nightmare bonus: Woke up with renewed compassion for the teenagers in my life and the teens I write for. These are hard times, ya'll. Hang in there, you can make it through and if you're brave, you will be better people at the end of it all. Suffering can make you kinder, funnier, and a generally more enjoyable individual. Or it can make you a whiny, self-indulgent, passive-aggressive asshole. The choice is yours.)
Other odds:
2. The garbage truck decided to change its route and now comes by our house at 4:45 and wakes up Leonard the Asshole bird, who cheeps from 4:45 until 8 or 9 in the morning. This makes me stabby.
3. No one is sending me the emails I would like to receive. Let's work on that world, shall we? I need some good emailz.
4. Some people are being not as nice as they should be. Let's be nice people. All too soon some of us will be dead and then we will all wish we'd been nicer. Or at least the alive people will, the rest of us will be dead and who knows what we'll be wishing. Probably that they had coffee in the afterlife.
The Evens:
1. OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI signing is ON!
I am definitely ON for a signing at Square Books Jr. in Oxford Mississippi on Thursday, June 20th at 5 p.m. I desperately need your help getting 5-10 people confirmed for this event (I sort of committed to rounding up people to attend, even though it is summer time and all the kids are hard to connect with that time of year). Know anyone in the area who likes to read YA or adult Urban Fantasy? Ask them if they'd like to come and I will be happy to send them a personal invitation.
I'm going to have my LAST Arc of OF BEAST AND BEAUTY to give away at this signing and some other very cool goodies, so hopefully it will be a fun event for all.
2. My Yelle Pandora station if freaking awesome like whoa and I love it.
3. I have written 7k in two days. Now I'm going to go make that 10k in three days because I'm taking no prisoners. NO prisoners.
4. No one is sending me emails I wouldn't like to receive. Good job, world. Bad emailz suck.
Have a Thursday, I'll be back Saturday with 9's birthday montage (he gave me permission to post it even though he is getting to be so very big and mature *sniff*).
Stacey
Monday, May 13, 2013
Pondering push ups and writing
So...
Last week I was doing an exercise video in the living room and my 4 year old decided to join in. He stuck with it a lot longer than I thought he would (probably around fifteen minutes), long enough to show me his adorable take on a jumping jack and make my jaw drop with his full-on, knees-off-the-ground, perfect-form push-ups. It was like exercising next to a mini Navy Seal. I'm in pretty good shape: I do strength training 2-3 times a week, get my cardio on, do ballet, and can lift heavy objects like 40 lb children and large rolls of tag board at my pattern-making class, but I can't do push-ups without dropping my knees to the ground.
Neither can my almost 9 year old, at least not with good form, the way 4 was doing his push-ups. But then, 9 takes after his bio dad and is petite of bone and body and has had some other issues that have put him behind the curve when it comes to athletics, whereas 4 is built like a little bull-dog, with wide shoulders and a predisposition to be muscle-y all over. (He has calves that would make many a grown man weep with envy.)
I've known since 4 was very little that he would probably be an athlete of some kind. With 9, however, there was a time when I didn't know if he'd be able to do simple things like catch a ball more than once or twice in a row. We went to many an occupational therapy appointment where I fretted as I watched him struggle to master simple, everyday tasks most people take for granted.
But that's the thing. He struggled. He arrived at his appointments ready to work and gave each session everything he had. He worked on his hand strengthening exercises, he forced himself to learn how to swallow foods that once set off his gag reflex, he worked and worked, and now, only three years after that first day at OT, he eats a wide range of foods and has become a good little soccer player (he prefers defense) and has a better shooting average at the basketball net than I do (and I've got two feet in height and a certain degree of alleged natural coordination on my side).
So I have no doubt that if 9 should decide he wanted to do push ups like his little brother, he would put his mind to it, and work and work and work, until he achieved mastery of the push up.
Later last week, I had the chance to read part of a 20 year old manuscript by a writer I really respect. She's the type who writes blog posts with language so beautiful it makes your heart ache and her books are even better. She's a real talent, and I guess I'd always assumed she must have been born eloquent. (I assumed she was a 4, not a 9.) But when I looked at the old manuscript, I could see how far she's come. The old book was still good, don't get me wrong, but the growth in her craft after twenty years was impressive and abundantly clear.
Long story long, these two experiences reminded me that it isn't always the naturally talented (or only the naturally talented) who write beautiful books. Hard work, dedication, and perseverance can and do make a difference. Sometimes all the difference.
I needed that reminder last week. I blogged about it today in case any of you needed a reminder, too.
Have a lovely, productive day,
Stacey
Last week I was doing an exercise video in the living room and my 4 year old decided to join in. He stuck with it a lot longer than I thought he would (probably around fifteen minutes), long enough to show me his adorable take on a jumping jack and make my jaw drop with his full-on, knees-off-the-ground, perfect-form push-ups. It was like exercising next to a mini Navy Seal. I'm in pretty good shape: I do strength training 2-3 times a week, get my cardio on, do ballet, and can lift heavy objects like 40 lb children and large rolls of tag board at my pattern-making class, but I can't do push-ups without dropping my knees to the ground.
Neither can my almost 9 year old, at least not with good form, the way 4 was doing his push-ups. But then, 9 takes after his bio dad and is petite of bone and body and has had some other issues that have put him behind the curve when it comes to athletics, whereas 4 is built like a little bull-dog, with wide shoulders and a predisposition to be muscle-y all over. (He has calves that would make many a grown man weep with envy.)
I've known since 4 was very little that he would probably be an athlete of some kind. With 9, however, there was a time when I didn't know if he'd be able to do simple things like catch a ball more than once or twice in a row. We went to many an occupational therapy appointment where I fretted as I watched him struggle to master simple, everyday tasks most people take for granted.
But that's the thing. He struggled. He arrived at his appointments ready to work and gave each session everything he had. He worked on his hand strengthening exercises, he forced himself to learn how to swallow foods that once set off his gag reflex, he worked and worked, and now, only three years after that first day at OT, he eats a wide range of foods and has become a good little soccer player (he prefers defense) and has a better shooting average at the basketball net than I do (and I've got two feet in height and a certain degree of alleged natural coordination on my side).
So I have no doubt that if 9 should decide he wanted to do push ups like his little brother, he would put his mind to it, and work and work and work, until he achieved mastery of the push up.
Later last week, I had the chance to read part of a 20 year old manuscript by a writer I really respect. She's the type who writes blog posts with language so beautiful it makes your heart ache and her books are even better. She's a real talent, and I guess I'd always assumed she must have been born eloquent. (I assumed she was a 4, not a 9.) But when I looked at the old manuscript, I could see how far she's come. The old book was still good, don't get me wrong, but the growth in her craft after twenty years was impressive and abundantly clear.
Long story long, these two experiences reminded me that it isn't always the naturally talented (or only the naturally talented) who write beautiful books. Hard work, dedication, and perseverance can and do make a difference. Sometimes all the difference.
I needed that reminder last week. I blogged about it today in case any of you needed a reminder, too.
Have a lovely, productive day,
Stacey
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Little Rock, Arkansas, I am coming for you!!!
Hey y'all!
(Disclaimer: Due to Shred-induced agony, this is a briefer post than I had planned.)
So, Leonard, the asshole bird, woke me up at 5:15 a.m. this morning and, since I was already awake, I decided it was a good idea to go downstairs and get my workout on at 6:00 a.m. And for some reason that defies my comprehension at this point, I decided it was a good idea to do Level 3 of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, which, some of you may know from experience, is more like the sixth or seventh level of workout hell. By the time we got to the third circuit I was dripping sweat and cussing loudly (it is a proven fact that cussing Jillian Michaels increases muscle strength and endurance) and my kids probably heard the outpourings of my foul mouth, but by that point I was beyond caring about contributing to my children's delinquency because THE PAIN! AND THE PUSHUPS! AND THE PLANK POSE WITH THE WEIGHTS AND THE LEG LIFTS! ARGH!
I survived, but just barely, and the workout left its mark. By the time I got the kids to school and ran home to take a shower, all the muscles were hurting. All of them. Even the ones between my fingers, which makes typing uncomfortable, which isn't cool for a writer. So I'll be saving most of my between-finger-strength for answering the mountain of email in my inbox and revising Delacorte 2014 Book, but I wanted to do a little outreach to the people of the greater Little Rock area before June drew any closer.
I'm going to be in your neck of the woods this summer (most of June) and I would love to make the most of it. Have a book club reading one of my books? I'd love to stop by to chat/have coffee. Interested in having me come speak to your writers' group? Let's do it! I am capable of speaking and love hanging out with other writers. Have a teen event at a the library? Want me to teach a quick workshop on Building Story Magic with funny slides featuring a talking toilet? I can do these things as well.
My publicist and I are working on nailing down a day/time for a signing, and I'll get that info out as soon as I have it, but other events can be even more fun. So please drop me an email at stacey.jay.ya at gmail dot com if you'd like to book something during the month of June.
And if no one emails me, I will just have to hang out at the lake and drink beer for the entire month. Please save me from skin cancer and a beer belly by giving me Places To Be and Things To Do.
Have a Wednesday,
Stacey
(Disclaimer: Due to Shred-induced agony, this is a briefer post than I had planned.)
So, Leonard, the asshole bird, woke me up at 5:15 a.m. this morning and, since I was already awake, I decided it was a good idea to go downstairs and get my workout on at 6:00 a.m. And for some reason that defies my comprehension at this point, I decided it was a good idea to do Level 3 of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred, which, some of you may know from experience, is more like the sixth or seventh level of workout hell. By the time we got to the third circuit I was dripping sweat and cussing loudly (it is a proven fact that cussing Jillian Michaels increases muscle strength and endurance) and my kids probably heard the outpourings of my foul mouth, but by that point I was beyond caring about contributing to my children's delinquency because THE PAIN! AND THE PUSHUPS! AND THE PLANK POSE WITH THE WEIGHTS AND THE LEG LIFTS! ARGH!
I survived, but just barely, and the workout left its mark. By the time I got the kids to school and ran home to take a shower, all the muscles were hurting. All of them. Even the ones between my fingers, which makes typing uncomfortable, which isn't cool for a writer. So I'll be saving most of my between-finger-strength for answering the mountain of email in my inbox and revising Delacorte 2014 Book, but I wanted to do a little outreach to the people of the greater Little Rock area before June drew any closer.
I'm going to be in your neck of the woods this summer (most of June) and I would love to make the most of it. Have a book club reading one of my books? I'd love to stop by to chat/have coffee. Interested in having me come speak to your writers' group? Let's do it! I am capable of speaking and love hanging out with other writers. Have a teen event at a the library? Want me to teach a quick workshop on Building Story Magic with funny slides featuring a talking toilet? I can do these things as well.
My publicist and I are working on nailing down a day/time for a signing, and I'll get that info out as soon as I have it, but other events can be even more fun. So please drop me an email at stacey.jay.ya at gmail dot com if you'd like to book something during the month of June.
And if no one emails me, I will just have to hang out at the lake and drink beer for the entire month. Please save me from skin cancer and a beer belly by giving me Places To Be and Things To Do.
Have a Wednesday,
Stacey
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Shiny New Blog Look, Shiny Updated Facebook Page, Shiny Widget
Oooooo! Ahhhhh!
Look at all the shiny! So what do you think of the new blog design? Too busy? Not busy enough? Needs more cowbell?
I'm really hoping it's pleasing because it took me FOREVER to figure out how to change things around and find a template design I could live with (and figure out how to install). I felt like it was time for a change, and I'm going to be amping up my reader outreach in the next couple of months in anticipation of the release of OF BEAST AND BEAUTY so I wanted to make sure I had a snazzy place to blog/have friends over/hold contests/discuss/etc.
I've also finally fixed up my Facebook Author page and will posting there regularly, as well as holding Facebook only giveaways every few weeks. So if you want to be automatically entered to win in those giveaways, just head over to my author page and give it a like. Here's the link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacey-Jay/186079701439253?ref=tn_tnmn
And please feel free to post on my author page. I'd love to hear from you and the more action the page gets the better. The poor thing has been practically abandoned for several years (I failed at Facebook in the past, but I have vowed to change my ways and embrace the Face...book.)
And last, but not least, please take a gander to the upper right hand side of the blog to find the shiniest of the shiny, a countdown widget for OF BEAST AND BEAUTY! Please feel free to steal the widget and post anywhere you like. I so appreciate the help getting the word out about this book. I'm so proud of this story and so excited to share it with my readers and I want to do everything I can to make sure people know this book will be hitting the shelves in July.
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Stacey
Look at all the shiny! So what do you think of the new blog design? Too busy? Not busy enough? Needs more cowbell?
I'm really hoping it's pleasing because it took me FOREVER to figure out how to change things around and find a template design I could live with (and figure out how to install). I felt like it was time for a change, and I'm going to be amping up my reader outreach in the next couple of months in anticipation of the release of OF BEAST AND BEAUTY so I wanted to make sure I had a snazzy place to blog/have friends over/hold contests/discuss/etc.
I've also finally fixed up my Facebook Author page and will posting there regularly, as well as holding Facebook only giveaways every few weeks. So if you want to be automatically entered to win in those giveaways, just head over to my author page and give it a like. Here's the link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacey-Jay/186079701439253?ref=tn_tnmn
And please feel free to post on my author page. I'd love to hear from you and the more action the page gets the better. The poor thing has been practically abandoned for several years (I failed at Facebook in the past, but I have vowed to change my ways and embrace the Face...book.)
And last, but not least, please take a gander to the upper right hand side of the blog to find the shiniest of the shiny, a countdown widget for OF BEAST AND BEAUTY! Please feel free to steal the widget and post anywhere you like. I so appreciate the help getting the word out about this book. I'm so proud of this story and so excited to share it with my readers and I want to do everything I can to make sure people know this book will be hitting the shelves in July.
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Stacey
Thursday, April 25, 2013
In which I tease you with snippet of Megan Berry 3
I get a decent amount of reader email each day. I am VERY grateful for this email. I love hearing from readers. I love knowing that people have enjoyed my books enough to send me emails demanding "where's the next book, woman!?"
With the Megan Berry series, however, this has been kind of a bittersweet experience. The series was cancelled several years ago, before the 3rd and final book could be written or published. Since then, I've published VALENTINE'S DAY OF THE UNDEAD, a novella that helped tie up some of the loose ends from UNDEAD MUCH?, but I continue to get email (almost every single day) asking when I'm going to write more Megan Berry books, like "a really big one this time, please, Ms. Jay."
I would LOVE to spend my time writing Megan Berry books, because I love Megan, but I've become a slower writer in my old age and for the past two years it's been all I can do to keep up with my contracted books, while creating new material for my agent to shop.
I have, however, been pecking away at a Megan Berry project in my limited spare time. It's only 3 chapters at this point and it may be a long time before it's finished, but just to show you Megan Berry peeps that I am listening and trying to appease your thirst for Zombie Slayer action, I give you a snippet:
UNTITLED MEGAN BERRY BOOK 3 SNIPPET
c. Stacey Jay 2013
With the Megan Berry series, however, this has been kind of a bittersweet experience. The series was cancelled several years ago, before the 3rd and final book could be written or published. Since then, I've published VALENTINE'S DAY OF THE UNDEAD, a novella that helped tie up some of the loose ends from UNDEAD MUCH?, but I continue to get email (almost every single day) asking when I'm going to write more Megan Berry books, like "a really big one this time, please, Ms. Jay."
I would LOVE to spend my time writing Megan Berry books, because I love Megan, but I've become a slower writer in my old age and for the past two years it's been all I can do to keep up with my contracted books, while creating new material for my agent to shop.
I have, however, been pecking away at a Megan Berry project in my limited spare time. It's only 3 chapters at this point and it may be a long time before it's finished, but just to show you Megan Berry peeps that I am listening and trying to appease your thirst for Zombie Slayer action, I give you a snippet:
UNTITLED MEGAN BERRY BOOK 3 SNIPPET
c. Stacey Jay 2013
180 days down. Approximately 900
left to go.
It
will be 900 days until I see the boy I love again. Maybe more.
Definitely
more. Even after he finishes his Enforcer
training and secures the assignment to be my bodyguard, it will take time for
Ethan to find me.
If he’s still wants to find me. If he's interested
in looking for the girl he used to kiss when he was nineteen by then. He’ll be
twenty-two, a totally full-fledged grown-up, and I’ll be nineteen, old enough
to be in college...if I’m allowed to go to college. If I’m not still in hiding,
forced to learn things from books like some kind of prehistoric cave scholar
because my location is too remote to have internet service.
Or phone service. Or
running water service.
Sigh…blah…sigh…
I
pull my legs tight to my chest, prop my chin on my knees, and try to focus on
the masterpiece of a sunset splattering the sky beyond the mountains a euphoric
red, transforming the lake in front of me into liquid fire. It's a ridiculously
gorgeous evening in late August, and I know I should be basking in its awesome,
but all I can think about is how much I want Ethan here to bask with me.
Basking
solo only makes the hurt worse. I miss my mom and dad—and even Monica, my
favorite fr-enemy—so much, but it's missing Ethan that makes me ache like evil
Edible Arrangement chefs went at my insides with a melon scraper. I don't know
how I'll survive two and a half more years of this. Sometimes, I wonder if
Ethan feels the same way, if he's hurting this much, and if he's willing to put
up with more hurt in order to claim the life together that we promised each
other before I left Arkansas last February.
Three years is a long time to wait for a girl...especially a girl you
dated for only five months before she was sent away.
END TEASER SNIPPET
See? I am trying.
I'm also working on five other unfinished projects and trying to revise my 2014 book for Delacorte. At this point I'm hoping to have it all done before I turn 40.
Happy Thursday to you all!
Stacey
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